I started this post two months ago with this:
“That sounds like a 2023 problem” is trending on social media and nothing can be truer at the moment. You know when you fill a glass to the rim, and it goes just beyond but doesn’t spill? Science tells me that’s called surface tension which tracks with my current state. The back half of ’22 has perhaps been more difficult than the past 2 years, but for good reason. We have had 4 family funerals and I have done a record number of talks/webinars. There has been amazing progress in the work that has come from Andrew’s case, and learning that can’t be measured. There is uptake of the recommendations that came of the analysis and more pharmacy teams are committed to reporting medication errors. All good, right? YES! But emotionally draining.
Fast forward to 2023. There are indeed a lot of problems to worry about. Interest rates rising, the pandemic that is the gift that keeps on taking, mental health concerns of loved ones and I could go on. But I only have 3 speaking engagements booked between now and April and a trip with my best friends on the horizon. There is a balancing act going on and I am here for it. I can handle the hard stuff – I have been handling it for a long time. It’s the relentless barrage of emotions that get me to the state that I was in, in December. Do you know what brought me back? Time with my husband and daughter, doing nothing but resting. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Shutting off. For the first time in 7 years, I read an entire novel; 2 in fact. Grief and trauma depleted the focus and attention I needed to follow a story and stay invested. Now that I know I can do it, there are more novels that I can escape to.
The weeks leading up to March 13 are usually the hardest. Coupled with the darkness of the winter days, it can be really challenging to push through. But I do feel a bit differently this year – not better, just different. Is it time passing? Is it travel on the horizon? Is it the recharge still lingering from the holidays? I don’t know but I am choosing to embrace it with gratitude.